By JaySlatkin June 13, 2008 <\/p>\n
It is no secret that we dole out criticism of the cable companies, perhaps, on a daily basis. We thought it might be fair and equitable to learn what cable technicians hate about the customers. We found out about this post written by a cable tech who isn\u2019t afraid to let it fly, \u201cAnd every once in a while, we get the one customer, and we just fucking hate you,\u201d says \u201cInstallerTechJeff\u201d on Cable Rant Forums. The 25 reasons, inside\u2026<\/p>\n
First off I would have to say, I really love being a cable guy. It is a very respectable job, and I have been doing cable for just over 2 years. It\u2019s a decent job with good benefits. I love people. I love being around people. Particularly in the area I work in, I don\u2019t typically have to deal with your everyday morons. Most customers are very happy to see me arrive, and I am usually very happy to meet them as well.<\/p>\n
Keep some things in mind though. First of all, we are human beings, and if we at any point realize that there is going to be a substantial amount of work to do in order to get your services up and running, it may and probably will become irritating. <\/p>\n
And every once in a while, we get the one customer, and we just fucking hate you.<\/p>\n
1. We call you to confirm the appointment and to let you know we\u2019re on the way. We get there. You\u2019re not home, so we leave, and we end up having to come back to do the damn job because you are liars and said you were home, when you weren\u2019t. We are on schedules you asshole. You can wait another day or until the evening to get your shit installed.<\/p>\n
2. Your dogs shit everywhere in your yard. Pick that shit up, we have to work in it. Slob.<\/p>\n
3. Your dogs shit in your house. Shoot your dog please.<\/p>\n
4. Your children are climbing on us. Control them. I for one love kids, and love playing with them but put that bugger in the crib sometimes.<\/p>\n
5. Your house smells like ass. Clean up your plates that have plants growing on them now. This bowl that had milk in it is molding and looks like green beans now. It\u2019s gross. Pick up your shitty diapers, and spray some air freshener or I\u2019m coming back in with a surgical mask on (yes we have those), and I would prefer not to hurt your feelings.<\/p>\n
6. Your router. Do it your damn self.<\/p>\n
7. Offer us a drink, it\u2019s hot, we\u2019re probably going out of our way to make sure your shit works!<\/p>\n
8. We\u2019re not going to assemble your piece of crap computer! We\u2019re not going to fix it either, we\u2019re the cable company, not Geek Squad.<\/p>\n
9. We\u2019re not there to set up your surround sound system. We are not Circuit City.<\/p>\n
10. MOVE YOUR CRAP OUT OF THE WAY!!! If we have to access your attic to change splitter configurations (or to do a wallfish), move your own shit out of the way, it\u2019s not our job to move your boxes and luggage in your closet. We\u2019re not Mayflower or any other moving company. In fact we\u2019re not there to move any furniture, electronics, computers, clothing, boxes, etc. IF ANYTHING HAS TO BE MOVED, YOU NEED TO MOVE IT OR YOU DON\u2019T GET YOUR CABLE. If we break something we have to pay for it. Here\u2019s a solution, move your shit before we get there (ie. dressers, entertainment centers \u2014 move these AWAY from cable and AC outlets, so we have access)<\/p>\n
11. If you are ordering Internet make sure you have a computer there for us to test it on when we arrive. common sense.<\/p>\n
12. If you are ordering digital phone, you don\u2019t need a phone there (we have test phones), but don\u2019t expect us to run 3 phone outlets for free. the sh*t aint happening.<\/p>\n
13. If your installation has to get rescheduled, don\u2019t flip out. Its not our fault your drop got cut and has to be road-bored, and we are only adhering to our companies policies.<\/p>\n
14. You don\u2019t get a new box every time a new one comes out. That\u2019s not how it works. They are all designed to do the same thing. If there\u2019s a problem we\u2019ll replace it, but don\u2019t waste our time.<\/p>\n
15. YOUR INTERNET IS NOT SLOW, YOUR COMPUTER IS!!! Take a few weeks to learn about how computers work. It\u2019s important nowadays because computers rule the world right now. 95% of the time, if the internet is slow, your computer either has too much porn\/spyware\/adware\/virus, etc to properly function. Run the recovery disk or fix it otherwise. Because if the signal levels are correct, your internet is going to be fast. modems usually don\u2019t just go bad.<\/p>\n
16. Dogs \u2013 A lot of us love animals but put those bitches up if they bite. It\u2019s not funny. That\u2019s why so many of my teammates hate dogs!! I love them, and most other animals but some of you idiots don\u2019t train your animals. Put the mean ones away somewhere (preferably somewhere that is not important to the cable installation).<\/p>\n
17. Put some damn clothes on. It was your choice for you to have us there at 8am, not ours. I\u2019d rather be sleeping still. So get your ass up.<\/p>\n
18. Coax wiring \u2014 don\u2019t try to do it yourself, because you probably don\u2019t know what youre doing. Radio Shack and Wal-Mart coax cable sucks. It\u2019s usually RG-59 equivalent and is good for nothing. We use RG-6 or better. and the connectors, and dielectric\/outer sheet layer differences on our cable make worlds of difference. Thanks for trying to help, but trust us on this one.<\/p>\n
19. If your house is over 450 feet from the tap (or pole) don\u2019t expect premium services (digital cable, internet, or digital phone) to work well, if they work at all. You probably shouldnt even have cable.<\/p>\n
20. If you are ordering digital cable, make sure you have a working TV there for us to test it on when we arrive.<\/p>\n
21. Contractors are hard workers, but there are bad eggs everywhere (contractors & in-house alike). Some of us were contractors before we worked directly for the company! Don\u2019t hate!<\/p>\n
22. Don\u2019t get an attitude, when speaking to the tech, unless the tech has one first. <\/p>\n
23. We physically CANNOT give you free HBO. your set-top box is provisioned from the office, not from your house.
\nThis request, although typically offered for humor-purposes, is getting old.<\/p>\n
24. THERE IS NO CABLE SWITCH. YOUR CABLE IS NOT TURNED ON WITH ANY TYPE OF SWITCH OR SIMILAR DEVICE. IN FACT: Less than 1% of my jobs are connected properly with good parts where I only have to connect it at the tap. We almost always have to tone outlets out, sometimes run new ones, scrub old ones, add equipment to your account, correct job codes, etc.<\/p>\n
25. If we are not assigned your installation, we do NOT want to pick it up early. Unless the tech is VERY bored with no other work, he will probably not want to do it early, don\u2019t ask.<\/p>\n
And finally. If you feel like we did a good job AT LEAST let us know, and gratuity is nice too. You tip the Pizza man and wait staff at a restaurant right? Well they are just doing their job, and if they are nice and give you the service you want, you tip them. We work harder for our money, and we are way underpaid too, so don\u2019t be shy!! We remember these things! <\/p>\n
We don\u2019t expect $50 or anything crazy like that, in fact we don\u2019t expect anything, but if we have to spend 3 or 4 hours crawling your house to rewire it, and hang a new aerial drop just so you can have service. Come on. And be nice to the service\/repair techs too!! They have WAY more experience and they have to work just as hard (or harder) to fix an issue the installer left behind.<\/p>\n\n